


Love Letters

by Ladywordsmyth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 08:46:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15703809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladywordsmyth/pseuds/Ladywordsmyth
Summary: Life in the bunker is normal between Sam and Dean. When they aren't saving people and hunting things, they are at their shiny new underground home. On one of these "days off," Sam finds a letter that changes the course of the day and of their lives.





	Love Letters

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place around s12 with mild canon divergence. The song that I think most goes with this is the gaslight anthem-handwritten which was playing in my head the entire way. Enjoy!

Sam woke early even though he knew he didn't have anywhere to be. Some days were like that, your brain just tells you "It's time" and you have no other choice but wake up or toss and turn for a few more hours. Instead of the latter, he decided not to delay the inevitable and instead get a nice long shower. 

He padded on bare feet to the showers with his towel in hand. Turning on the showers, he held his hand under the stream until the water got hot. He stripped off his tshirt and boxers and carelessly left them outside the stall. He stepped into the water and moaned. The thing they never tell you about living in motels is how shitty the showers are. The water pressure is usually bad and the water always goes cold too quickly. The bunker showers were the opposite. They could stay hot forever and the water pressure was fantastic.

Sam quickly soaped up his big body while enjoying the satisfying heat. Massaging his shampoo into his scalp, he thanked God and the men of letters for this fabulous place. He stayed in the water longer than necessary, just enjoying himself since it would be too soon before they would be on a hunt and staying in crappy motels again.

He wrapped himself in a towel and wandered down the cold hallway towards his room. On the way, he ran into Dean who appearred to have just woken up judging by the grumpy expression he was wearing. Dean's hunter green eyes were slitted against the harsh hallway lighting. He mumbled a quick "morning" before heading off to take a piss. Sam chuckled and returned the greeting. Dean was usually not a morning person most days but he seemed even more off than usual as he refused to even make eye contact. Weird.

Sam threw on a well worn henley and jeans before deciding to start breakfast. Dean almost always fed Sam, a habit from when they were kids, so any chance he could get to repay the favor, he did. He started the coffee first since they both were pretty useless without it. He filled himself a mug and took a sip. Dean always liked his coffee stronger than the average joe, but Sam was used to it and even liked it now. The caffeine helped to get him energized enough to make breakfast. 

By the time Dean wandered in, freshly showered, Sam had the eggs and bacon almost done. Dean stopped at the doorway, lifting his face at the smell of bacon in the air.

"Damn, that smells good. Is there coffee?" Sam pointed to a white mug already set at the table for him.  
"Aww Sam you know it makes me tingley when you anticipate me." He joked with his trademark devil-may-care smirk.  
"Careful, Dean, I may just decide to eat this all myself." Sam warned.  
Dean pretended penitence and gave him his best puppydog eyes.  
"Fine, you can have the first plate. You should see your face, man." He handed Dean a heaping pile of southwestern style scrambled eggs and bacon.  
"Pffft I learned the puppydog face from you, dude. Mmmm...oh my god, this is good." Dean moaned around a forkful of eggs, peppers and cheese.  
"You're welcome." Sam chuckled back. 

Sam sat with his own plate and they both ate in companionable silence for a while. When they were finished, plates emptied, sam asked "what are your plans for the day?"  
"I thought i might do a supply run after working on Baby for a bit. You?"  
"There are some hoodoo texts that I want to read through."  
"Nerd." Dean snickered.  
Sam laughed, getting up to put the dishes in the sink. "Jerk" he mumbled to Dean's departing frame.  
"Bitch" Dean replied without turning.

After breakfast, Sam camped out in the library. He set up his laptop and note pages with the textbooks surrounding them. Dean had already left, presumably to work on the Impala or run errands. 

As much as Dean pretended he was the "dumb" brother, he read almost as much as Sam did. He just didn't get as wrapped up in them, which is how Sam had been reading for hours before remembering that Dean still had one book in his room on Vaudaun Priestesses. Instead of waiting for Dean to get back, Sam figured it would be easier to just go get it himself. 

Dean's room was the same size as his, but Dean had decorated his with all manner of "Guy Stuff". He had a weapons crate at the base of his big king size bed, 2 large bookshelves stuffed with all manner of novels and reference texts, a bedside table with a family family photo and various busty, scantily clad ladies on posters featuring either beer or cars. 

Sam scanned the book titles before he landed on the one he was looking for. Gotcha! He grabbed the book off the shelf but managed to drop it in the process. Dean loved to call him "Sasquatch" because of how big and tall he was and now he had to go and act like one.  
"Fuck." He muttered. 

As Sam went to pick up the book, he realized that something had fallen out of it. Curious, he crouched down and grabbed the object. It was a white envelope; presumably a letter. The thing must have been around the block a few times too since the envelope it was in had dirt smudges and even a few drops of what looked like blood. Sam turned it over to see who it was addressed to and realized with a start, it was for him. There was no return address or stamp, just the name "Sammy" printed on the front in Dean's left-handed slanted writing. Obviously the letter was hidden for a reason but curiousity got the better of him and he ripped it open. He sat at the foot of Dean's bed and read.

Sammy,  
For as long as I can remember I have felt this way about you. I'm sure if you're reading this, you probably assumed that our "brotherly bond" developed slowly, but that's not quite how it happened. At least not for me. As soon as I was handed that wriggly blanketed baby while dad yelled at me, I felt like we were more than just brothers.  
Sometimes taking care of you wasn't easy, being a pseudo-parent while still a child yourself isn't easy. It wasn't even fun real often, but even when I thought of you as my snot-nosed kid-brother, I loved you.  
I fed you, took you to school, beat up your bullies, helped you with homework and sacrificed my own needs so you could be the big sasquatch you are today. Everything I have ever done has been for you. You have and always will be, my world.  
For your part, you did dad and I proud. I could not possibly be more proud of you. Even when you've made mistakes you've still managed to find a way to rise above it.  
I know you beat yourself up about some of the decisions you've made and hell, I know I have too. You are a stubborn sonavabitch sometimes but you are somehow still positive and good.  
I watched you grow from a gangly teenager into the unbelievabley handsome man that you are today. And before you ask, you ARE handsome, sometimes painfully so. If asked, I don't even think that I could even pick a favorite feature because the whole package is so devastating. Whether it be your ridiculously beautiful girl hair, your dimples popping out from that shy-boy smile or the wide expanse of shoulders; it just tears me up. I know I have always been the one with all the female attention but I could never really understand it. I mean, yeah, I know how I look; I'm a bad boy in blue jeans. But I still couldn't help but wonder why me and not you? It was like everyone was blind to all the things that I could see and that made me feel...special. It was like I was the only one who got to see the REAL you. It absolutley guts me at the same time because I know how I feel about you is wrong. Honestly, I have never been attracted to another guy in my life, save you. The fact that we are brothers and I feel this way should disgust me but it doesn't. Somehow it doesn't FEEL wrong, even though I KNOW it is. That's why I could never tell you any of this to your face. I love you too much to lose you from my life completely.  
This might come as a surprise, Sammy, but I may be able to take on werewolves and vamps without blinking, but admitting feelings for you has me absolutely terrified in a way no other monster could. As hard as it is to live everyday loving you without you knowing, it would kill me more to lose you from my life completely. I hope you can understand that. I'm not sure if you ever will get to read this, but it makes me feel better to carry it around and to imagine one day giving you this letter. At least then I can pretend to myself that someday our relationship will finally be what it always was to me. I love you, Sammy, and I always will.  
Always, Dean

Sam knew his hands were shaking and there were tears in his eyes but he couldn't seem to look away from the letter clutched tightly in his hand. His heart was racing, he could feel the damned thing trying to escape his chest with it's pounding. Before he could even process what he had just read, he heard footsteps which could only be one person; Dean. 

He stood abruptly, hiding the letter behind his back. Dean entered the room, carrying a paper bag presumably filled with supplies.  
"Hey, Sam... whatcha doin in my room?" Dean asked, eyebrows raised. 

He didn't appear angry, just curious. Setting down the bag, he took in the fact that Sam was shaking and that there were tears in his eyes.  
"Whoa, Sam, what's wrong?" He looked around the room quickly, trying to find the source of Sam's distress before concluding it was internal. He quickly crossed the room, worried. Sam swallowed thickly, holding up a hand, trying to compose himself.  
"Come on, Sam, talk to me."  
Sam held up a finger, as in "Gimme a minute."

Dean nodded, waiting. He was worried, obviously, but smart enough to wait for Sam to explain when he was ready. Dean went to pull up his desk chair next to his bed so they could face one another but when he stopped near the bookshelf, he saw the book still on the floor where Sam had dropped it. Dean's eyes widened and he turned an accusing look to Sam who's arm was still behind his back.

"Give it back." Dean ground out, his voice thick with barely contained emotion.  
"Dean...I..." Sam's voice cracked and seized up, his eyes still watery.  
Dean flinched. "How much of it did you read?" His face was growing cold and his poker face started to take up residence.  
"All of it." He breathed. "I read all of it."

Dean cringed, his knees giving out. "No..no...nonono...no..." he repeated, speaking to himself, shaking.  
His head hung low, staring at the floor, unseeing. Sam rushed to him, falling to his knees as well. Dean refused to look him in the eye. He couldn't bear to see the digust or even worse, the pity in the eyes of the one person he loved more than any thing or anyone. 

"Dean...Dean, please, look at me" he pleaded.  
Dean stubbornly shook his head no. Fine. Sam's hand came up and tugged Dean's face so he would look him in the eyes, see everything that Sam was feeling. Dean glaced up, just for a second, only to see a look of wonder in Sam's eyes. 

Sam wasn't mad or afraid, he was elated. Dean was not the only Winchester pining after his brother, that was clear from Sam's look of longing. He never could match Dean's poker face, his own expressions would always betray his real feelings. This was the first time he was actually glad of that fact. 

When Sam was certain that Dean could see all the love and acceptance on his face he drew Dean's face towards him. At first, Dean froze but he nervously licked his lips and they were both lost after that. Lost in a kiss that took each other's breath away. 

Sam kissed Dean like their mouths were made for one another. And Dean, for his part, opened to him completely. Sam licked into his mouth hoping to pull Dean's flavor into his own mouth. Dean tasted better than he could have ever imagined he did, better than anyone before had, certainly. Dean moaned a little into Sam's mouth and Sam couldnt help angling Dean's mouth so he had better access. Sam pulled away slightly only to have Dean lick a long stripe along his neck, making Sam groan. He tilted his neck eagerly and Dean leaned into it, leaving nibbles and sucking hard till blood rose to the surface. Dean pulled back, only to grin at Sam's new set of love bites. 

"Marking me, Dean?"he ground out. Dean's pupils dilated and his eyes darkened.  
"I'm yours, Dean. Always have been." He whispered, stretching his throat to the side, for Dean to admire his claim.

He looked into Sam's eyes only to see the same look reflected in each other's eyes. Both sets of eyes, one green and one hazel, were flushed with want. Dean hesitated, unsure of whether he should push the situation to its clear conclusion. His engorged cock said YES, MOTHER OF GOD YES, but his brain was telling him to wait. Indecision had him frozen. 

Sam made the decision for him and slowly stood. Dean was now eye level with a jeans clad erection. He scrunched his eyes closed, trying to concentrate and do the right thing. Sam, apparently, thought otherwise. Even with his eyes tighly closed, he could hear the unmistakable sound of clothing swishing to the floor, a button popping open, and a zip. His eyes snapped open at the last sound. 

Dean's mouth watered, he couldnt look away. Sam peeled off his boxers and jeans in one long pull. Sam's dick was now free. It was magnificent, large with a slight uptilt, the tip glistening with precome. Dean's tongue darted out to taste it. Sam gasped. One taste and Dean was hooked, he had to have more. He drew the tip into his mouth and licked the slit, tasting the salty sweetness. They both moaned. Dean drew him in slowly, just enjoying the feel of Sam's firm length between his lips, but it couldnt last. 

Sam's hand found its way to the back of Dean's head. Just resting there, not forcing. Dean ran his hands up Sam's muscled thighs, his muscled abdomen and finally saw Sam's expression; Sam was awestruck. It was the hottest thing Sam had ever seen, Dean on his knees sucking his cock like he needed it more than air. Dean could feel the electricity in the air between them and knew exactly what Sam wanted.

He took Sam in his mouth as far as he could, almost choking. His hand went to the base and he began sucking as much of Sam's dick as he could. The rest of it, he jacked off in perfect sync with his mouth. Sam moaned, his hips shifting slightly. Dean took him hard, making obscene slurping noises. Sam loved it, based on the frantic little "ah ah ah" noises he was making. 

"Oh Fuck, Dean, I'm close. Fuck, I'm so close..."  
Dean pulled away just long enough for Sam to whimper and Dean to say "I want you to come in my mouth, Sammy. Make me yours."  
Then he went back at it. Sam shuddered and cried out, so close to coming. Dean moaned, his mouth full of cock and the vibration was almost too much. Sam held Dean's head still as he came, Dean sucking it down, all of it. Sam shivered as his body released the last drop of come. 

Dean stood, invading Sam's space. Sam's eyes were closed, his expression so open. Dean's hand came up and touched his cheek, tucked a few stray strands of hair behind his ear. Sam smiled, his eyes opening. Dean didnt give him a chance, he just took Sam's mouth. 

Sam was surprised, but moaned when he tasted himself on Dean's lips. Sam's fingers found the bottom of Dean's tshirt and caressed the warm skin underneath. Dean's stomach quivered. Sam pulled away to draw Dean's shirt over his head, exposing Dean's glorious torso. 

"Jesus, Dean." He whispered. Dean was flattered but was too desperate for Sam by this point. He drew Sam's hand to the bulge in his pants.  
"You're so hard, big brother." He murmured in Dean's ear, biting it teasingly. Dean jerked, aroused beyond belief. 

Sam kneeled, looking up at Dean, slowly unbuttoning Dean's jeans, never losing eye contact. Sam pulled down Dean's boxers, finally freeing Dean's hard cock from its denim prison. Dean pushed Sam's hair out of his face, he wanted to see the dreamy look on Sam's face when he drew Dean's cock into his mouth. Sam's mouth was so soft and hot it was almost too much. Then Sam started to move. Sam grabbed Dean's hips to force his cock further into Sam's mouth. Dean cried out.  
"Sam if you keep doing that I'm not going to be able to last..."  
Sam pulled away to reply "I want you to come. Fuck my face, Dean."  
He grabbed Dean's hand and placed it on his own head. Dean's cock twitched wanting exactly that, but Dean stopped to ask, "are you sure, Sammy?"  
Sam nodded, Dean's dick already back in his mouth. "Oh fuck, you're gonna make me come, baby boy" Dean growled. 

Sam hummed in approval, his mouth working Dean's cock so damn good. Dean relented and pulled a fistfull of Sam's hair and tugged. Sam moaned at the slight pain.  
"You like that, Sammy? Me too. Love your hair, baby boy. Now suck my cock, baby."  
Sam moaned, moving faster, Dean pumping his hips forward slightly. Dean moaned. Dean held Sam's head still and began slowly moving his hips forward. Sam, unable to move his head, moaned eagerly, egging Dean on. Sam's hands pulled Dean's hips and ass faster, making Dean lose it and start frantically fucking Sam's face.

Dean cried out, so close to coming. Sam looked up, making eye contact and moaned. Dean couldn't help it. He came hard, spilling hot and wet into his brother's willing mouth. Sam swallowed, taking every last drop.

Dean dropped to his knees and embraced Sam in a full body hug. They both were out of breath and sweating. "Jesus Christ, Sammy, that was un-fucking-believable." Dean chuckled. Sam laughed.  
"Yeah it was." He agreed.  
They chuckled, just holding eachother not willing to let go of this new feeling yet.  
"I love you." Sam whispered.  
"I love you too, Sammy. Always have, always will." 

End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my first ever fanfiction. It was unbeta'd, so I apologize for any mistakes. Also, my puncuation sucks because I typed this one out on my phone, SORRY! Comments and kudos would be lovely, thanks :)


End file.
